Ramit Sethi's "Hell Week" -- Day 5
Just like normal, I didn't bell out, so I went on to the final challenge. And this is supposed to be life-changing. Except, if you're a good person, it's not. You're supposed to go big, and do things like:
- Tip your server 100% of the bill (difficult, in my circumstances).
- Volunteer somewhere for a whole day
- Do good deeds for the whole weekend
- Donate to an organization that you've never considered before
I do good deeds all the time. Everything from the small (tell the guy in the silver Subaru his lights are on, or fetch a motorized shopping cart for the elderly or disabled), to the full-on all-day "I'll fix your computer for you." It's spiritually rewarding, but I don't do it for the reward. Very much it's just doing something nice that heals the social contract which seems to be unraveling. And we should all be a little nicer to each other. I'm strongly considering volunteering for 4-H, so Day 5 is essentially done.
I learned more about myself than I knew before. The first couple days of Hell Week seemed worthwhile, while the rest of it not so much.
Doing what you normally do is not challenging.
And that's the thing that hasn't been taken into account. If you've only focused on the past or the the day to day, if you go to work, come home and spend your day on autopilot, then this program can help. If you have been forward thinking, focused on your goal, and you realize that we are all works in progress, then Hell Week isn't as useful. And that's my two cents.
Ramit Sethi's "Hell Week" -- Day 4
If I thought the other challenges were difficult, nothing prepared me for Day 4. In each of the other days, I had music to cling to. Now, I had to go in complete silence. The rules:
- No Internet
- No Phone/Devices
- No Radio (and I imagine, by extension, CDs and MP3s)
- No Reading
- No Sleeping
and the biggie:
- No Talking(!)
So that meant that I had to isolate myself, literally, from everything that keeps us sane and stress-free. The "No Talking" rule was hard, as was the "No Internet." The internet is how I conduct business, so that's a tall order. But I set timers, and busied myself by cleaning up around the property, picking up things the windstorm had blown around. Then I want for a walk, seeking to find neighborhoods I had seldom visited. Without music, the world really opened itself to me, and I took in all the sights and sounds that I could:
The sound of the wind in the trees, the roar of jets as they scrape the sky, chimes and various other loose items rattling in the gale, dogs barking their warnings behind fence and closed door, the happy screams of kids at recess as I passed Fawcett Elementary, and the familiar sights of "12" flags flapping in the breeze, and dog poo melting on the tarmac.
Once I got in and ended my 2-hour isolation, I had two emails that were fairly urgent sent to me in that time frame. I could have dealt with them both in that time frame and gotten them out of my life.
What was it designed to achieve? I know it was Mark Divine's 6-Day Retreat in miniature. I also know that it was hard to maintain focus while adhering to these rules. The idea to is minimize distractions, and as a bonus you could try and create sacred space by denying yourself devices 2 hours before bed and after waking, but that's simply not practical for me. I get my assignments in the morning, so all I would be doing is delaying the inevitable. If I wanted to delay doing my work, I could go on Facebook or watch TV.
I have intense focus, sometimes to the point of not remembering to eat or sleep. I did a lot of things during this time, but focusing on my goals wasn't one of them. What I really need is a way to drop into "the zone," anytime, anywhere, instantly, and get things done.
Ah well, live and learn, I guess. I didn't ring the bell to quit, and I refuse to quit. The only reason we fall is to get back on our feet again.
Ramit Sethi's "Hell Week" -- Day 3
For Day 3, we were supposed to pull out all the stops. We've already conquered the physical (I'm still sore), the mental (which allowed me to really focus on my goals), but this challenge was harder than the others combined.
Anyone can power their way through a miserable workout, or grit their teeth and focus on what they really need to get done. This was about getting out there and making a real connection with someone who knows you, and ask that person about patterns you've been stuck in. No chat, no email, phone if you must, but in-person is preferred.
I live a long ways away from most of my peeps. Some of them have full-time jobs, others simply don't have enough contact with me to really give a critique. It's part of my reboot to share more of myself without creeping the other person out, but that's a WIP.
So asked my wife, who didn't have an answer. She may been busy or preoccupied herself, because she can sometimes give brutal criticism. So I went inside, and focused on what I should work on.
I have had bad social anxiety in the past. I make excuses to avoid social contact, simply because solitude is easier. There's no fake smiles, no irritating small talk, just you and yourself. The best way to achieve a razor sharp focus is to be alone with your thoughts. in the end, we are our own worst critics, and I have identified issues that I have to deal with. One is the social anxiety, but I'm trying to get out of the house and actively try to meet people, but the root of the social anxiety is probably this:
Impostor Syndrome is the feeling that no matter what you do, you're not "good enough." If you get selected for a job, it's because they don't know how incompetent you are. If you get recognized, it's because they don't realize how badly you screwed things up. It's a feeling of inadequacy, born from not easily being able to support myself, and wondering how others make it look so easy. The important thing about Day 3 was to realize where I'm stuck, and brutally excise that crap from my life.
I'm getting better, hence the reboot, about which I will blog when I have more time.
Ramit Sethi's "Hell Week" -- Day 2.
Day 1 pushed our physical limits, Day 2 is designed to break through our mental limits. It's a multistep process. You think about what you want to achieve,
what your goal is. You start to visualize it, sights, sounds, smells,
and how you feel. Then, you listen to your mind tell you why this isn't
possible. When you hear your mind do this, you "embrace the suck," and
combat your fears and push through it. The next steps are the hardest.
You know why your mind says you can't do this. Now you need to reflect,
sit still for 12 minutes, and practice deep breathing. This is not the
hard part. You start "box breathing." This is where you use your chest,
diaphragm, and belly, and breathe in for a 4-count, exhale a 6- or
8-count, and immediately inhale 4-count again. What this does is relax
you. It wasn't hard. I trained myself to monitor my breathing and do
that when I was studying Tony Robbins, so not hard at all. The point of
this is to relax you and really screen out all the mental noise. Maybe
this was easy for me because I could really let my mind wander, and I
had a fire soundtrack to boot.
Then you have to reflect on your goal, and figure out at least one
thing you will do to attain it, and actually sit down and do it.
We "embrace the suck" all the time, whether it's doing our taxes,
jumping through bureaucratic hoops, or cutting a toxic connection
loose, we power through it because it needs to get done. Your goals need
to "get done" as well. My choice is to finally sit down and revamp my
online profile. New site, regular updates, and really bring my reboot
online. More on that later.
Ramit Sethi's "Hell Week" -- Day 1
This is all about exceeding your potential. What you thought you were capable of, you are wrong. You can do more. 20x more.
That's why I chose to do it. To challenge myself mentally, physically,
emotionally, until I am the best I can be, and then keep trying harder.
I had a choice between 1,000 pushups or a 21 minute plank. I chose the
plank. Most people were investing 2-3 hours of time doing the pushups
and I don't have that kind of time. My exercise was no less rigorous,
but not impossible.
I felt miserable doing it. It wasn't until
the last 10 minutes that I was sweating, dripping onto the tile floor
where I chose to do the challenge. I had a rolled up towel protecting my
elbows, but little else. I was shaking like jello in an earthquake, my
head shivering until my face shook, but I powered through.I had to put
my knees down several times -- but I got right back into the game. I did
more than I thought possible, and now I'm ready for the next challenge.
The lesson I learned is that if you keep looking ahead, you'll never
get it done. Get what you're supposed to get done in the present
moment. I broke my challenge up like the timer image below. 5 minute
chunks. So that each five minute mark, I had to shut off a timer. Bear
in mind this is *not* 5 minutes then rest. This is 5 minutes and keep
going. Did it keep me going? I like to think it kept me sane, along with
some kickin' music.
You'll never know what you're capable of until you try. Looking forward to Day 2!
