Master Your Emotions and Conquer Your Fears

Ramit Sethi's "Hell Week" -- Day 3

 

For Day 3, we were supposed to pull out all the stops. We've already conquered the physical (I'm still sore), the mental (which allowed me to really focus on my goals), but this challenge was harder than the others combined.

Anyone can power their way through a miserable workout, or grit their teeth and focus on what they really need to get done.  This was about getting out there and making a real connection with someone who knows you, and ask that person about patterns you've been stuck in. No chat, no email, phone if you must, but in-person is preferred.

I live a long ways away from most of my peeps. Some of them have full-time jobs, others simply don't have enough contact with me to really give a critique. It's part of my reboot to share more of myself without creeping the other person out, but that's a WIP.

So asked my wife, who didn't have an answer. She may been busy or preoccupied herself, because she can sometimes give brutal criticism. So I went inside, and focused on what I should work on.

I have had bad social anxiety in the past. I make excuses to avoid social contact, simply because solitude is easier. There's no fake smiles, no irritating small talk, just you and yourself. The best way to achieve a razor sharp focus is to be alone with your thoughts. in the end, we are our own worst critics, and I have identified issues that I have to deal with. One is the social anxiety, but I'm trying to get out of the house and actively try to meet people, but the root of the social anxiety is probably this:

Impostor Syndrome is the feeling that no matter what you do, you're not "good enough." If you get selected for a job, it's because they don't know how incompetent you are. If you get recognized, it's because they don't realize how badly you screwed things up. It's a feeling of inadequacy, born from not easily being able to support myself, and wondering how others make it look so easy. The important thing about Day 3 was to realize where I'm stuck, and brutally excise that crap from my life. 


I'm getting better, hence the reboot, about which I will blog when I have more time.